Chazz Redhead's Infinite Craptacular

5 in the morning is an interesting time. It’s the time when the least amount of people are awake I feel. To elaborate, it’s the time when all civilization is both at a complete stop, and on the precipice of something at the same time (if you’ll excuse the mixed metaphors).

I’ve had trouble sleeping recently. I could put it down to stress and long all-nighters completing some of my final pieces of work as an undergraduate, my late night Mass Effect 3 sessions or the fact that I’ve had to adjust to sleeping sober. Personally, these factors might be influences, but not the core of the issue.

As mentioned earlier, I’ve almost completed my undergrad studies. I’m applying for a masters but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about the incoming prospect of the ‘real world’, as it were. I know what I want to do. I want to write and perform and be serious and be funny and improvise and do stand up and sing and be in films and on stage and on Saturday Night Live and go to the fringe festival every year and get drunk with comedians and people I love. It’s a big ask. And these things happen slowly, if at all.

I think the reason I’m awake now is because the world doesn’t ask anything of you at five in the morning. There are no people you can hear walking about to make you feel nervous you’re not doing anything, there’s no-one awake to badger you about this or that, and there’s almost nothing you can do to effect the outcome of the rest of your day (except perhaps go to sleep, of course)

I don’t even watch videos online, or read articles, or post on forums. To be honest, this post is the most ‘productive’ thing I’ve ever done in this timeslot. I just sit, puffing on an electronic cigarette (quitting is going ok, thank you). And I wait. I wait for morning.

6 is approaching. A lot of people get up at 6. There’s a faded blue encroaching through the blinds. But I still get these 60 minutes. Me, the birdsong, and the universe.